Pinprick I Am
November Thirtieth, Ten-Thirty in the Morning
I think today I’ll put my troubles in the past,
start new and do away with the old,
forget about the people who don’t deserve to see my soul,
because I’ve been taught the hard way,
slaps on the wrist and on my face.
Don’t tell me you didn’t know
or that the timing didn’t flow,
because you’ve had lots of signs
to follow on the street we both go.
A Hope, A Dream
Can’t Bring Me Up
I’m through writing fairy tales for some broken-hearted piece of myself,
lost in some garbage-dumpster abyss in a world with no sympathy.
Silhouetted across open parks and picnic benches
and strewn across the floor like a plethora of generic prescription pills
there’s something more to be wanted from this life,
something more than to be a leech sucking on a nurturing machine,
spent at the end of your life with nothing more to celebrate
but nights of inebriated debauchery.
The future is nothing more
than the brightest light of stars
that haven’t reached us yet.
As we sit outside in the cold dark,
vapor pouring from our chapped lips,
we can only reminisce those times,
and sitting now alone at my desk, I can only remember brighter days.
Let me know when you’ve struck rock bottom,
and I’ll be here to hoist you up.
Hold on to the bucket you’ve been throwing up in down there,
and I’ll hoist you up.
It’s got greater use than you think.
Pulling teeth is hard enough
when the teeth are set in concrete.
wish you were here
Wish you were here
In my same state of mind,
wish our heads shared chemicals,
and chemical reactions
of the same kind.
wish you were here,
in my same solitude
completing me like
the last puzzle piece
of my mind.
A Lover’s Blues
Have you ever spent every day longing, wanting what you never could attain? Aching for the one thing that would satisfy the gaping hole in your heart, the chasm that could be filled by no other? Spent every waking moment thinking about her, wanting her, remembering her? That is the reality I live. Every day, I wake with her face fading, slipping away from my mind like water in a cupped palm, knowing she littered my dreams like fairy dust or cocaine. Each moment I search for signs that may represent her, I lust over women yet do not act upon my instinct. When every weekday afternoon is a lovemaking session between you and your hand and your virtual girlfriend, that whore on the computer screen, moaning on some other guy’s dick, rubbing her clit. Your hand, your dick, and the kleenex.
Out of a Used Shell
Out of this cracked shell I emerge,
re-used and hand-me-down it’s cracked and already open.
I sit in there from time to time,
and emerge again and again.
Out of a used shell of an egg,
I am reborn.
New, again.
you were the fire that started the apocalypse
you put me through hell and through heaven.
now I look back and thank you for the pain
some of the glory, and some of the strain;
im stronger because of you and maybe thats bad.
I woke up this morning and my coffee was cold
took down the posters and the pictures of you.
Called the coroner inside the arched hallways
told him to stop the operation,
told him to stop the fight.
I stepped outside to greet the day,
but it was dark as hell and refused to grey.
I’d apologize a million times if it would make
differences.
But when you add it all up
its all the same.
lost souls in unknown worlds
whisper upon my ear,
the lack of articulation blurring
who, what, and where.
lost souls in unknown worlds,
like the swirls of white cream
in a cup of coffee.
In an instant you can reduce your life,
and in another you can multiply it.
we are only temporary,
zooming through life like the
eternal subways, metrorails, and automobiles
that haunt the remains of their previous owners.
And those before them.
And the ones before that.
We are lost souls in unknown worlds,
each of us his own universe
his own galaxy.
each of us his own God,
his own microcosm.
We are infinite, we are temporary,
drifting, floating, mingling along the way.
As you soar across your inner sky,
and pass by your inner sun,
and contemplate Heaven, Hell, Samsara, and Nirvana,
think once of me,
insignificant as I be,
think once of me,
of the ideas and inspiration i bring,
and allow me to live in your universe,
your unnamed world.